


Starting Anew

by TabbyCat33098



Series: Dear Diary Trilogy [3]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, POV Rukia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-26
Updated: 2013-06-26
Packaged: 2017-12-16 06:28:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/858920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TabbyCat33098/pseuds/TabbyCat33098
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ishida shows up in the Rukongai and is found by Rukia. Knowing what will happen if she tells Ichigo, she keep it a secret from him. But he finds out anyways. And what he finds breaks her heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Starting Anew

**Author's Note:**

> Welp. Here we go. The conclusion to the trilogy. And so ends our journey through Tabby's angst-filled mind. There are happier fics coming, I swear.
> 
> Ishida is *very* OOC for a majority of this fic, but there is a reason. And he still retains his basic framework, he's just calmer and kinder. I wasn't too clear on the rules for dying, so I kind of bluffed it. I'm also not very knowledgeable about courting, but as it's not a major part of the fic, I didn't research it, and just went off of what I think might happen and what I've read in other fics.
> 
> That's all I've got to say before I start. Thanks for sticking with me through this. Happy reading! :)

Rukia knows the moment Ichigo finds him, because his reiatsu flares and doesn't go down for a solid minute. In fact, she wonders what took the assistant captain so long. Although, to be fair, Ichigo doesn't often visit the Rukongai, and even when he does, he's hopeless at identifying different reiatsus. And in any case, Ishida hasn't been in the Soul Society for very long.

Rukia was the first to see the Quincy after his death. In fact, she was there when he materialized. "Ishida?" she asked quietly.

The Quincy, only in his mid-30s when he died, blinked owlishly before pushing up his glasses in his trademark gesture. "Yes. That sounds right. Ishida...Uryu."

Later, Rukia found out that Ishida had been in driving home from work one night when out of nowhere, a drunk driver careened around a corner, ran a red light, and crashed into the driver's side of the car. For some reason, the airbags didn't deploy, and the impact killed Ishida instantly.

She told everyone who had known the Quincy personally as soon as she got a few minutes' spare time. Well, everyone except Ichigo. She didn't know how he would react if he found out that the man he loved was once more within his reach, but had no memories of Ichigo or of even himself.

But it doesn't matter now because Ichigo found him anyways. Rukia quickly calls in the fourth seat to take over the training of the new recruits before flash-stepping towards Ichigo, knowing Ukitake-taicho will understand.

She arrives just in time to hear Ishida say, "I'm sorry, do I know you?"

Ichigo looks so heartbroken that Rukia can't help but feel a pang of sadness herself, a remnant from the days when she loved Ichigo. But she has had years to get over her unrequited love, and now Renji has taken the place that Ichigo held for so long, and she's perfectly happy with the switch.

Quietly, Rukia walks toward Ichigo. "Go," she tells the rest of the patrol in a tone that brooks no argument. Cowering slightly, they resume their duties, leaving Rukia, Ichigo, and Ishida alone. Rukia wraps an arm around Ichigo's shoulder and begins to lead him away.

"Wait, shinigami-san," Ishida calls, and Rukia curses under her breath. She had hoped she could leave before Ishida recognized her, so that Ichigo wouldn't find out she had known of the Quincy's appearance in the Soul Society. Nevertheless, she turns around. "You look familiar."

Rukia smiles, silently cursing her bad luck all the while. "I was the one who found you," she replies, trying to ignore the look of betrayal on Ichigo's face.

Ishida smiles, too. "Thank you once again, shinigami-san." He bows slightly before walking away. Rukia stares after him for a few moments, than drags Ichigo away, not wanting the inevitable confrontation to be in public.

Sure enough, the moment Rukia closes the door to Ichigo's office behind her, the vice of the 13th sets in on her. "Why didn't you tell me Ishida was here? Did you think I would never find out? You know I would want to be told if something like this ever happened!" Anger and betrayal war in his eyes.

Despite the obvious pain Ichigo must be feeling, Rukia's infamous temper flares. "I didn't tell you because I knew you would react like this, baka! I knew what would happen when you found out he wasn't the same Ishida we all knew!" she yells. "He's not the man you loved, and I didn't want you to be hurt so badly again." As soon as it flared, Rukia's ire fades away. "I was trying to protect you, Ichigo. We all were." She turns away and walks to the window, looking out into the distance, towards the outreaching parts of the Rukongai, where Ishida is now.

Ichigo joins her a minute later. "Gomen," he murmurs. They stand together in silence for a few minutes. "Do you think I have a chance with him now?" the carrot-top asks.

Rukia is quiet as she thinks about it. "I don't know," she finally says. "I think you always had a chance with him, and you always will. But be careful, Ichigo. This isn't the Ishida Uryu you fell in love with. This Ishida Uryu is calmer, less sarcastic, more innocent, with a completely different personality."

Ichigo nods. "I'll keep that in mind, but it doesn't make a difference. No matter what, he's still Ishida. And who knows? Maybe I can drag the old Ishida out of this new one." He breaks into a grin, and Rukia can't help but smile back.

"Just make sure you don't neglect your duties while you pursue a relationship," she warns.

Ichigo's grin doesn't let up. "You worry too much, midget. I'll be fine."

Ichigo's sound of pain as the back of his head meets the sole of Rukia's sandal can be heard all throughout the 13th division.

A week later, Rukia masks her reiatsu and follows Ichigo when he goes to meet Ishida, ready to protect the carrot-top if necessary. She waits as he tries to pin down the other man's reiatsu, then edges closer when he finally finds the Quincy.

"Shinigami-san," Ishida greets. "How are you?"

"I'm doing well," Ichigo responds awkwardly. "And you?"

Rukia stifles a giggle as the two men exchange small talk, a deep look of discomfort on Ichigo's face. He always was hopeless with small talk. He couldn't stand it when people avoided the main issue for so long and much preferred to simply "get on with it!" Rukia loses herself in memories until Ichigo nervously scratches at the back of his neck. It's a nervous habit that he's never really broken, something that he does right before he's about to foray into the unknown with no idea how anything will turn out. Rukia pulls herself away from thoughts of the past to listen in again.

"Anou, Ishida-san," Ichigo says, shifting from one foot to the other. "Would you like to come with me to lunch?" He holds Ishida's gaze for a moment, then turns away as if he can't handle the rejection he knows is forthcoming.

But Ishida smiles brightly. "I would like that very much, Kurosaki-san," he says happily.

Ichigo's perpetual scowl lets up a little, and he looks up in surprise. He opens his mouth, as if to ask Ishida-san to repeat what he just said. "Ishida-san, you wouldn't happen to know the best place to eat around here, would you?" he asks instead, a second later.

Rukia takes this as her cue, and quietly flash-steps away.

A month later, Rukia finds herself flash-stepping towards Ichigo's office, where Ichigo's reiatsu has risen considerably. He's scaring the new recruits, and he needs to stop it. As she gets closer, she recognizes Ishida's reiatsu as well, and doubles her pace. But she is too late. Just as she reaches Ichigo's office, Ishida walks out.

"Kuchiki-san," he murmurs, bowing his head. He quickly walks off, but not before Rukia sees the pain and anger etched on his face. She quickly rushes into the office to find Ichigo staring morosely out his window. She closes the door and leans against it, knowing Ichigo will tell her when he's ready.

"Damn fool's too naïve for his own good," Ichigo growls in a low voice. In a motion too quick to follow, he whirls around and punches the wall. Rukia winces as the force makes a dent in the wall, but doesn't comment.

Finally, Ichigo says, "For a month, I've been dating him. For a month, I thought we had something, something real. But apparently I was mistaken, and we had nothing. I tried to kiss him today. The moment was right, the atmosphere, the situation, all of it was perfect. So I turned to him, and I took his face in my hands, and I leaned in to kiss him. But he pushed me away, told me that friends didn't behave like this. I was confused, obviously, so I told him we weren't friends, that I thought we were a couple. And you know what he said? He said, 'Kurosaki-san, you've only ever been a good friend to me. Nothing more.'" He punches the wall again. And still Rukia waits, for she knows there is something else that Ichigo isn't telling her. Sure enough, Ichigo continues, but more quietly this time. "Somehow, I ended up telling him I loved him. He got so mad, Rukia. He said I didn't realize what I was doing, I was too young to know what I meant, that I needed to put my duties as a Shinigami, and a assistant captain no less, before my feelings, and it wasn't even love anyways, I was confusing love with lust. And then he just walked out. Rukia, he told me I was only lusting after him! But I'm not, I really do love him." He is quiet again, and looks out the window for a moment. Then he punches the wall again, harder than the first two times, and with a resounding crack, the wall splits in two. "Dammit, Rukia, what am I supposed to do?"

Rukia stands up now and and bodily drags Ichigo away from the window. She sits him down in his chair, pops out for a second, and asks a passing officer to please bring Kurosaki-fukutaicho a cup of tea. "What do you think you should do?" she asks him as she waits for the tea.

"I don't know," Ichigo replies.

Rukia's expression is grave. "I warned you this might happen, Ichigo. I warned you Ishida wasn't the same."

"I know," Ichigo responds miserably. "But I love him, dammit! I love him like…like…" He goes quiet for a second, trying to find a powerful enough comparison.

"Like I used to love you," Rukia supplies quietly, and Ichigo nods.

"Yes, like that! And I can't just give up on him! But I don't know what to do." He slumps down and passes a hand over his face.

There is a knock on the door. Rukia cracks it open and gratefully accepts the tea, then quickly shoos away the curious man. She places the tea in front of Ichigo. "Drink," she commands before sitting down again. "You need to give him some time to recover," she finally says as Ichigo sips at the steaming drink. "And then you need to apologize, ask for a second chance, and make your intentions completely clear. After that, you can only hope that Ishida will take you back."

Ichigo's scowl deepens. "It wasn't even my fault, Rukia! I've been perfectly clear from the start! What more does he need, a written declaration of my-" His speech is cut off as his face is pressed into the floor by Rukia's foot.

"Did you tell him you were courting him?" she asks patiently.

"No," Ichigo replies, voice muffled. "I thought it was perfectly obvious from the start that I was dati- ow! Quit doing that!"

"Baka! Ishida no longer has any of his memories. He isn't familiar with the concept of dating. You need to tell him what you're doing and then give him time to adjust. You can't expect him to know everything from the start," she explains to the idiot under her sandal. "I will say this again: give him some time, apologize, and make your intentions clear. I'm sure Nii-sama would be more than happy to teach you how to properly court someone." She smirks as Ichigo growls.

"Not a chance in hell! I will not inflate that bastard's ego by letting him ow there is yet another thing he's better at- you're going to end up leaving a permanent impression on my face at the rate you're going."

"That 'bastard' is my brother," Rukia replies sweetly and heads for the door. "Heed my words, Ichigo," she says solemnly just before she leaves, "or you'll be in for a world of trouble." The door shuts ominously behind her, and just knows Ichigo is staring at it, dumbfounded.

A few days later, Rukia figures she should run some damage control. So she obtains permission from Ukitake-taicho to tag along with the day's patrol and talk to Ishida. Two and a half hours later, she finds herself sitting on a rather shabby but comfortable chair in Ishida's house.

"Kuchiki-san, what can I do for you?" Ishida asks warmly as he hands her a cup of tea.

Rukia stares into her tea, gathering her courage. "Ishida-san, I understand that your relationship with Ichigo is a little rocky right now." She sense the other man tense and holds up a finger to forestall his protests. "However, Ichigo is an honorable man, if a little dense sometimes. In no way did he want to offend you or harm you. In fact, given the circumstances, Ichigo is being more honest with you than usual."

"Are you saying you want me to go along with his foolish desires?" Ishida asks, guarded now.

"I'm asking you to give Ichigo a second chance when he comes back," Rukia corrects. "And he will come back, no doubt about it. But I think you'll find him changed."

Ishida looks away. "I can't make any promises, Kuchiki-san, but I will think about what you said."

Rukia inclines her head slightly and stands up. "That is all I ask. Thank you for the tea." She makes her way out the door.

That night, as she lays with Renji, she can't keep her thoughts from racing. "Renji," she murmurs, not wanting to wake him if he's asleep, "I don't know if I did the right thing by talking to Ishida. Have I just killed Ichigo's chances? Should I have meddled in his affairs? I'm so confused, Renji."

Renji grunts, woken by his girlfriend's troubled voice. "You did what you thought was right," he says. "And if those idiots screw this up, I'll knock some sense into both of them with Zabimaru. Will you marry me?"

Rukia grins, both at his reassuring response, which has eased her doubts, and at his question, which has become a bit of a game between them. "Have you asknii for Nii-sama's blessing?" she asks knowing fully well what Renji's answer will be.

Indeed, Renji is quiet befor a minute before he sullenly mumbles, "No."

Rukia curls up against him. "Then you know my answer," she murmurs sleepily.

Renji groans, but Rukia senses that he's grinning. "Love you," he whispers into her hair.

"I love you too," Rukia replies.

And it's true. Even though Ichigo will always be her first love, she has found true happiness with Renji. They both compliment each other perfectly, like puzzle pieces. And even though she will never love Renji the way she loved Ichigo, she loves Renji with just as much intensity. Her love for Ichigo was like a soft, familiar, comfortable blanket, something that smothered her and wrapped around and made her feel warm all over. But her love for Renji is like a volcano ready to explode, or a brilliant fireworks show: sharp, bright, exciting, forever changing. She has found closure with Ichigo, and while he will always occupy a place in her heart, she's happy he has found someone he can be happy with. She just hopes Ishida will give the stubborn carrot-top another chance.

Ichigo waits a week before going back to apologize, apparently deciding this is more than enough time. Rukia follows, knowing this will end badly.

Sure enough, the moment Ishida opens the door and finds Ichigo standing there, he goes to shut it. But Ichigo catches it and cries, "Wait!" The door wavers for a second before opening again.

"You have thirty seconds," Ishida says.

"I wanted to apologize," Ichigo begins. "In no way did I mean to offend you. But it's true; I do love you, and I would like to pursue a relationship. Ishida Uryu, will you do me the pleasure of allowing me to court you?"

Rukia sees a flash of respect pass through Ishida's eyes before a mask of betrayal slams down over his face. "This isn't the best time to ask a question like that, Kurosaki-san. We have both been hurt very deeply, and I fear that your endeavor will leave us both in worse conditions. I'm sorry, Kurosaki-san, but the answer to your question is no." He closes the door gently, leaving Ichigo standing on his doorstep.

What Ishida doesn't see and Rukia does is the look of determination on Ichigo's face. And suddenly, Rukia knows Ichigo will stop at nothing to win Ishida over. Rukia smiles to herself and sees if she can't help her best friend.

She has to stifle a laugh the next day when Ichigo is approached by her brother.

"Kurosaki-fukutaicho," Byakuya greets in his deep voice.

"Kuchiki-taicho," Ichigo responds. Rukia knows that Ichigo is trying to find a reason why the captain of the sixth would seek him out. But he'll never guess. Rukia smirks wickedly.

The two men stare at each other for several minutes. Then Byakuya speaks. "Make sure to take him a gift when you visit him next," the stoic captain says. He inclines his head and walks away.

The look of surprise and terror—terror that Byakuya has knowledge of his pursuit—on the carrot-top's face is priceless.

"Thank you, Nii-sama," Rukia whiseprs. She makes a mental note to buy the calligraphy set Byakuya has coveted for years but never had a chance to purchase.

Ichigo visit Ishida every week, whenever he has a few spare hours, and despite his aggression towards Byakuya, he heeds the older man's advice and takes a small gift with him each time. Sometimes it's chocolate, sometimes it's sakè, sometimes it's a token gift for Ishida's house. When she is able, Rukia follows him, but the two men appear to have a routine figured out. Each time she goes, the meeting progresses in much the same way. They make small talk for a few minutes, Ichigo presents his gift, Ishida rejects him, and the rejected present ends up in Rukia's flat. The gifts have become so numerous that Renji threatens to unleash the full force of Zabimaru on the two idiots if they don't work this out soon.

But it isn't until Ichigo yells at an unseated officer for turning in some paperwork late that Rukia decides she needs to step in. She makes off towards Ishida's house the moment she can.

"What is wrong with you?" she says the moment Ishida closes the door behind her. "Ichigo has been trying his damnedest to make right his wrong and get permission to court you. And he won't proceed without your consent, we both know that! He's doing  _everything_  he can. He even talked to my brother! If you truly believe that you aren't a fit match, then prove it, and tell him in no uncertain terms that you refuse to let him court you, because Ichigo sure as hell doesn't think so. And if you're not sure, give him your permission, see how it works out, and then gently break it off later.  _You have that option_. But the way you're handling this right now is making it harder for everyone." She glares fiercely at the navy-haired man, her diminutive stature not discouraging her in the slightest.

Ishida says. "If you truly believe that is best, Kuchiki-san, I will consider it."

Rukia's eyes narrow even further. "No. You will not  _consider_  it. You will  _make a decision_  about it. And I hope, for your sake, that you make the  _right_  decision," she says threateningly, and takes her leave. "Good day, Ishida-san."

That weeks, she follows Ichigo back out to the Rukongai. The assistant captain is carrying a small box of chocolates this time, and Rukia shudders doesn't think she will be able to eat a piece of the sweet treat again for at least a few years.

As usual, Ichigo and Ishida talk for a few minutes before Ichigo makes his request. Rukia's mind wanders during this time, not really interested in what the two men are saying. She perks up, though, when Ichigo asks, "Will you give me permission to court you?"

Ishida's eyes narrow. "Don't you hear anything I say, Kurosaki?" he says almost angrily. And maybe it's the way he's glaring at Ichigo, or the incongruous tone of his voice, or the way he addresses the vice captain, but Rukia gets the feeling that this time will be different. She listens, breathless, to the next three words that come out of Ishida's mouth.

"I. Hate. Shinigami."

It takes a moment for the significance of the phrase to sink in, for both Rukia and Ichigo, but when it does, Rukia has to suppress her joyful laughter as she sees Ichigo break into a wide grin. A moment later, Ishida smirks, too.

Then the navy-haired Quincy does something that surprises Rukia completely, and probably shocks Ichigo as well. He pulls the vice captain into an intimate embrace and kisses him square on the mouth, not pulling away for a solid minute. "I'm already yours," he whispers when he finally does release Ichigo, so softly that Rukia almost misses it.

"How…?" Ichigo asks, slightly breathless from the wholly unexpected kiss.

Ishida smirks again. "You annoyed me so much that it triggered the recall of my memories. Now come show me why I  _shouldn't_  hate Shinigami. Somewhere without an audience." As he yanks a dazed Ichigo inside, Ishida pauses to smirk directly at the place where Rukia is hiding.

Rukia blushes slightly at getting caught, then blushes harder when she hears the noises emanating from the small house. She quickly falsh-steps away, giving the two men their privacy, and starts to calculate how many days she'll have to cover for Ichigo before he feels well enough to take up his duties again.

**FIN**


End file.
